Heard from Nydia after a long break in contact. She sent me pictures. She looks like a ghost and I told her so. Her head is like a pale oversized balloon on a now tiny body. It depresses me even more than I thought it would to see where I knew she was heading. I find myself blunt and just generally bitternasty these days more often, for example she mentioned transfering, and I wrote “After transfering three times, basically, I can tell you right of the bat that you’re never picking a better place to go, you’re picking a different set of bad shit to deal with. Whether its the cold or the roommates or the shitty food, or the pretensious(sp?) over-academic hippie wanna-be revolutionary self-righteous fuckheads or delusional art-rags with too much paint seeping up to their brains, I’ve decided college just plain BLOWS. Best years of my life HA HA. If this is as good as it gets, I’m gonna pull my heart out of my chest and stuff it in the asshole of the next middle aged fuckhead who feeds me that bullshit line.”

God, what’s wrong with me besides everything?
Another half-assed attempt in the toilet as of last night. Why always when I’m drunk? (you know why, pussy) “The best people for you don’t want you. The ones you don’t want, the ones bad for you, will cling to your heels all the way to hell.” Thats just “How Life Goes” Bitter Ed says. But I know I know I know, its my own fucking fault, just like always.
I’m getting so tired of living in re-runs.

* Groups:the peeps
* Mood: bitchy
* Music:White Stripes – Little Bird